Are You Struggling to Workout?

Recently, a client posted in one of our private online coaching programs: “I find it hard to want to get up and workout. Why is it that I’d rather self sabotage? In the end, it causes unpleasant, guilty feelings, as opposed to working out which makes me to feel great! I feel like I’m constantly battling myself! Any advice?”

I suppose I could say suck it up and power through. But that isn’t helpful or supportive. Really, it’s the worst possible advice.

Instead, I offered her six pieces of advice to help her peel back the layers of her resistance and uncover why she was self-sabotaging herself.

1. Comfort or energy? You know those early mornings when the alarm clock rings and silently you banter back and forth between getting up to hit the gym or hitting the snooze button? In a few minutes, you can run through a million excuses to justify sleeping in. Before you know it, time is no longer on your side and getting that workout in isn’t possible. You hear yourself say things like “I should workout.” Shoulding yourself isn’t motivating you to jump out of bed and lace up. Instead try asking “What feeling do I want to experience today? Comfort or energy?” Sleeping in offers you comfort. Working out offers you more energy. Chasing these feeling gets you out of shoulding yourself so instead check in with your body and ask what it needs. Finally, stop feeling guilty for choosing comfort over energy.

2. Habit versus identity. It takes consistent practice over time for exercise to be part of who you are and not something you do. Since it’s not ingrained in your identity, it can be uncomfortable. Concentrated effort and planning is needed to go from habit to identity. I like to think of it like this: I don’t enjoy pumping gas. I pump gas because it allows me to see loved ones, new places, and do super cool stuff. I go through something I dislike to get where I want to go. Exercise, in the beginning, can feel like work and uncomfortable. On the other side of uncomfortableness is that energy you’re looking for. The more consistent you stay, the more likely it’ll become ingrained in your identity and become part of your value system.

3. Start with intention. Building your exercise consistency skills begins with the intention you set at the beginning of the day instead of in the moment. In the moment we let circumstances, people, and events dictate our mood and what we should do next. Setting intentions at the beginning of the day and holding yourself to it leads to better follow through. There is a reason why successful people lay out their clothes the night before and have their bags pack, ready to go. It begins with intention. And it helps you get out of autopilot, allows you to live life with purpose, choose how you want to feel, and do what you say you will do.

4. Make it fun. Does your exercise regiment bring you joy? If you dread doing it, then it might be time to change your exercise routine to something enjoyable. Maybe lifting weights isn’t your thing but doing a group fitness class is. I first experienced this back in my marathon running days. It was fun in the beginning, and I looked forward to it until one day, in the middle of a training run, I stopped running. It was suddenly too much work and not a lot of joy. I searched for other ways to move my body outside of running long distances. Making it fun can be about the type of exercise you engage in and the people you surround yourself with while doing it too.

5. Take back your energy. Most people give away time and energy to the needs and wants of others. You make sure everyone else has what they need at the expense of your own. Are your goals optional or priorities? When it comes time to move your body, you don’t have any energy left to give back to yourself. Having no energy makes it easier to add exercise to a list of things you might do. Try filling up your tank first before emptying it for everyone else’s goals.

6. Self acceptance. How you see yourself and talk to yourself before engaging in exercise, during and after, plays a big role in whether you will repeat it again tomorrow, the next day, and the next day. If you use unkind words about your body or lack of strength, it doesn’t create a motivating experience to reach your goals. If you choose to move your body to beat it up for the way it looks, or stop before you even start to prove how your body continues to fail you, try switching to the self acceptance route. You don’t need to love the way your body looks, feels, or how it moves… at least not just yet. But accepting yourself for the way you arrive in the world today helps build you up to celebrate your body. Self acceptance doesn’t mean complacency, and hating yourself sets you up for long term failure and further away from self love.

The first step you can take is to begin trusting yourself and the process. Commit to taking things one day at a time. And if you don’t believe that trying out these six steps will help you be more consistent in your workouts, then the old way of doing things, your current autopilot way, is still there as a back-up plan. But having worked with hundreds of clients through my online coaching programs, making the mental shift is the missing link in ending your struggle.

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