The long haul: rest breaks, detours and highways

I often get asked: How do I do it all?

‘All’ being work out AND eat properly while maintaining all of the other things that come with a busy life – running a business, marriage…free time? I have to admit, it hasn’t always come easily to me. I actually struggled with it, a lot. It always seemed that I needed some sort of goal or an end date to keep me motivated, whether it was a photoshoot, beach season or an upcoming trip. But when those things weren’t on the horizon, I tended to let it all fall by the wayside in favour of just relaxing and simply not caring. I’ve heard about this struggle from my clients as well. They would finish a challenge or reach a goal, only to be left wandering around aimlessly thinking “What now?” “That’s it?!” “What goal can I come up with now?”

Not only are we left a little less motivated when a goal is completed, but we can get easily distracted when life throws us a curve ball or two. Life happens. To expect that your journey to better health won’t have detours, delays and obstacles is setting yourself up for failure. If other areas of our lives have all those unexpected elements, then it is only natural that our efforts to eat well and stay in shape will have setbacks too. It’s better to expect it than let it catch you off-guard.

Here is the closest analogy I have come up with that best reflects the journey to better health:

Like Tom Cochran said, “Life is a highway”. It really is. We plan a trip. We pack the vehicle with everything we need. We plan our route down to a “T”. But of course, we still hit delays on the highway and detours. It can be frustrating, even infuriating. But here is the thing: when we get so bogged down with the number of delays and detours, we lose sight of the goal - arriving at our destination. It’s the same with healthy living: it isn’t so much about the number of detours and delays, but how quickly we can jump back on the highway and make it to our destination. Sometimes when we choose to go with the flow yet not lose sight of what we really want, we end up where we need to be. It may not be within your expected timeline, but isn’t it more important to just get there? Any trip afterwards will feel easier as you focus less on the delays and detours, and more on the goal ahead.

Since when are detours and delays a bad thing? We likely consider them as such because of the arbitrary expectations and timelines we create for ourselves. But like anything in life, EVERYTHING ebbs and flows, expands and contracts. I like thinking about it this way. When we think of flowers that expand and contract, we can see beauty in it all. That flower knows it will contract through the winter months but it trusts itself enough to know that during the spring and summer, it will be in full bloom over and over again. Likewise with a polar bear and its hibernation. The examples are endless. But when it comes to our own very personal health journey, we somehow can’t see the beauty in it. Maybe it is a lack of trust in ourselves that we will indeed expand after a period of contraction.

I stopped using a diet mentality to experience my own journey. There is no end date. It ebbs and flows, expands and contracts. I have built enough trust in myself to know that a contraction never happens without expansion. If I take a week of rest, I know it won’t go into a second week. I have let go of the ‘start on Monday’ mentality. I have started listening and responding to what my body needs.

I now cycle my training program. Every 4th week, in alignment with my cycle, I rest. This week I may walk my dog more or do yoga; whatever it is my body wants in that moment. This is my week of contraction. I trust myself enough to know that come the 5th week, I will expand and flow. This helps me break it down into smaller steps, build more trust within myself and get connected more with my intuition. What does my body need vs. what do I want. Since engaging in this process and mode of thinking, I am no longer fearful of quitting, gaining weight or losing strength.

Life is a highway. It really is about riding it all night long.

It is about building a body of trust and connecting with the self beyond just plugging away at the daily grind. It is about stepping back enough to listen to the body, building respect, and cultivating love for ourselves.

We ebb. We flow.

We contract. We expand.